Choosing Joy

Joy does not come naturally to me. I fight for it. I choose joy because my heart's natural inclination is

to complain and mourn and grieve. Even as a young child, I struggled with negativity. My life was not always beautiful or easy and trials often threatened to steal my joy. My mom would tell me no one could make me happy or mad or sad but that I always had a choice. She was right but I was mostly just annoyed in those moments by her words of wisdom to her "eeyore" child. Later I struggled with postpartum depression when my daughter was born. I was thankful to be given the medical treatment and biblical counseling I needed at that time to help me through those dark days. But most of the time discouragement strikes, I am just unhappy because I wake up that way. We have all been there. Haven't we? The morning dawns to a gray cold mess outside. As you struggle to drag yourself out of the bed, everything seems to be monotonous and gloomy. In a nutshell, life just seems annoying-- all of it: the messes to clean up, the bad hair month staring at you in the mirror, the temper tantrums. Those are the days I want to hide form the world and run to the beach for a weekend of quiet sunny bliss. 

But the reality that I have been given, while it has plenty of difficulties and challenges, also contains

breathtaking beauty and moments of grace. Ultimately, my attitude is a reflection of the perspective from which I choose to view life. Before Christ came, the world was scarred and stained by sin, without hope, and full of desperation. When Christ died, He defeated sin. When Christ resurrected from the dead, He initiated the healing process for a decaying world and sin-poisoned humanity. We still live in a world where people choose sin and darkness over light and life. Bad things happen to good and bad people alike. The world in its present form is passing away and Christ is returning to raise the living and dead and call us all to account. May the blood of Christ plead for you on that day as you trust in His faithful mercy and atoning sacrifice. 

All that to say, sometimes, I forget that I am not that old self living in a world of despair and hopelessness. Sometimes I forget to look for the joy that God has placed before me. Everyday joy is waiting for me in the most ordinary places, calling me to stand in awe and shout out a prayer of thanksgiving or a song of praise to the God who saved me. Even in the darkest prisons and most desperate situations Christians face, Christ is there, calling us to remember the reality of the King and His Kingdom. There is so much joy waiting for us there in the presence of Christ. As we turn our thoughts toward Him, and choose to be thankful for the salvation and freedom we have been so undeservedly gifted in Christ, joy springs and wells up within us. When I choose to rejoice in Christ, I also choose to give grace to myself and towards my kiddos and husband. The challenges I face are smaller and the world brighter when my gaze is fixed on the King of Kings. Fear and anxiety flee when I remember that He is on the throne, He in control, and my sins are forgiven. We used to sing this song at Sojourn. I think it is applicable here. 

Satisfied In You (Psalm 42, Mars Hill Music)
"So when Iʼm drowning out at sea 

And all your breakers and your waves crash down on me 

Iʼll recall your safety scheme 

Youʼre the one who made the waves 

And your Son went out to suffer in my place 

And to show me that Iʼm safe. 

Why are you downcast O my soul? 

Why so disturbed within me? 

I am satisfied in You."